


With Sprinkles

by ThorneInYourSide



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Guillermo Deserves to be Happy, M/M, Vampire Version of Dirty Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 07:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19194433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThorneInYourSide/pseuds/ThorneInYourSide
Summary: After the incident with the Vampire Council, Guillermo is losing his faith in the promise Nandor made. When he's summoned to the library, he finally gets the opportunity to clear the air.





	With Sprinkles

**Author's Note:**

> I've really been enjoying the show, and I've been looking to create a very short one-shot to get me back into the swing of writing again. I'm afraid this was a super quick one, put together in a couple of hours, but I'm fairly happy with it. That and I thought Guillermo deserved a break for a change!
> 
> As ever, constructive feedback is always appreciated.

 

It's nearly midnight when I hear the summons.  **“Gee-ermo, where are you? I require your services immediately.”**

 

I allow myself a quiet sigh at the mispronunciation of my name, carefully laying down the feather duster and padding over to the library. I can’t help standing awkwardly at the threshold, glancing between my master and the documentary crew, hating my insecurity as I await further invitation.

 

 **“You called for me master?”** God, I sound pathetic. I resent myself for the trembling hope which leaks into the question. The last few months have been hard. I’ve been hit by realisation after realisation, gutting me over and over as my fantasies and ambitions slowly drain away.

 

 **“Yes Gee-ermo, I called for you, that is the point.”** He is reclining on the threadbare chaise longue, examining his claws and somehow managing to look equal parts disinterested and irritated.

 

I fight the urge to fidget. My master tells me that I show my true emotions too easily, so I try and tame my confusion. **“The point, master?”**

 

He turns his face to me, revealing that vaguely disappointed look that I’m starting to get used to; brows creased up for added dramatic effect. I manage to quash the pang of guilt which pricks at my ribs. **“Yes, the point. You are supposed to be my familiar, ever-present and responsive to my whims. Lately though you are not ever-present; you are more like a never present. A never present familiar Gee-ermo. What do you have to say for yourself?”**

 

And the guilt is back, scraping at my insides. He’s right, of course. I have been avoiding the vampires in the house, especially my master. I’m having a crisis of faith, and I needed time to work out my feelings on the matter.

 

His eyes are piercing, his calculating gaze fixed on me and I can’t help the rush of fear and endorphins which flood my system as my cheeks flush. With his full attention aimed solely at me, there is very little I can hide from him.

 

 **“I’m sorry master, I’m just having a hard time at the moment.”** His eyebrows rise, head tilting as he digests my words.

 

 **“And you let this come in the way of your duties Gee-ermo? This is very unlike you. What could be so bad that it gets in the way of you servicing me?"** My blush is positively vibrant at this point, and I can’t help glancing at the camera crew as one of them snickers. Bastard.  

 

 **“Look at me when I am talking to you boy.”** There is a clear warning in his tone, and I gulp as my gaze returns to Nandor the Relentless, his face stony and harsh. It’s not often I see this side of him, and it reminds me that the dangerous vampire war-lord aspect never truly goes away, just secretes itself under his many layers.

 

 **“Sorry master, I…”** I trail off, frantically searching for the words. **“I’m just confused, that’s all.”** My gaze drops to the floor and I bite my lip in uncertainty.

 

 **“Gee-ermo you’re always confused. It’s sort of your thing you know?”** That hurts, but he’s said worse to me in the past, and a spark of anger ignites in the depths of my heart.

 

 **“NOT ABOUT THIS!”** I practically scream it at him, and he looks vaguely surprised at my outburst. Suddenly the inch of spine I grew deserts me as I fumble to apologise. **“Sorry master, I didn’t mean to shout at you. I’m talking about your promise to make me a vampire. I’ve never been surer of anything else in my life, at least until recently.”**

He looks thoughtful for a moment as if choosing his words carefully. It's a rare occurrence these days.

 

 **“That’s what this is about? Why you’ve been so…”** He waves his hand emphatically. **“This.”** I don't know what he means, but I nod slowly at him.

 

 **“Gee-ermo I thought we’d been over this. The time is not right.”** I blink at him, weighing up my responses. We've been around this track several times before, but quite honestly, I've never had the balls to challenge it. Still, the air is heavy, and I feel the need to clear it.

 

**“Master I wish I could believe that, but I don’t think you have any intention of ever making me a vampire. I don’t think you even like me, so why should I believe we’ll spend eternity together like Lazlo and Nadja? I think you just want me to be your slave till I die of old age.”**

I'm trying to be strong, but he can't miss the pitiful sniff which escapes me as I spill my raw emotions all over the library. I can't meet his eyes and find myself resolutely studying the faded patterns in the carpet as if that will save me from the shame of admitting it.

 

 **“Truthfully Gee-ermo, until recently I hadn’t intended on fulfilling my promise. It’s kind of against the vampire code to turn a familiar, you know how it is?”** I look up and he can see the devastation on my face. **"No, no, that's not what I mean. Well, it is what I mean, sorry, WAS what I mean… meant.”** Now I’m devastated and bewildered. He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration, taking a deep breath of unnecessary air.

 

 **"It's something we promise to all familiars to get them to be our slaves. It used to be, back in the good old days with the pillaging and depravity, we did use to turn them after they’d proved themselves to be loyal and worthwhile.”** I scowl at him, the pep talk not helping in the slightest.

 

 **“No Gee-ermo you misunderstand me. I would have turned you years ago, but the Vampire Council forbade it many centuries ago due to overpopulation problems. My hands were tied on the matter, at least until they sentenced Nadja, Lazlo and me to death.”** I can’t help the tiny sliver of optimism which bursts anew in my chest, my lip trembling slightly as I stare hopefully at my master.

 

 **“Officially we’re all burned to a crisp, so quite frankly they can go and fuck themselves with sprinkles, yes?”** I nod enthusiastically, still unable to speak.

 

 **“I’m was just waiting for the right time, but I thought you’d gone off the idea with all the avoiding that’s been going on. Gone off me.”** He looks away, unsure, and suddenly I regain my speech, a verbal torrent cascading raw and unrefined from my soul.

 

 **“Never master. I could never go off you. I have never been more ready for anything in my life. I’m devoted to you; you must know that! I would do anything to receive your dark embrace, to feel your teeth at my throat.”** My hand creeps upwards, drawing the vampire's eyes to the juncture of my shoulder, his predatory gaze heated and fixed on my fluttering pulse.

 

An embarrassed cough echoes from across the room, escalating the tension as his head swings around, fangs elongated and bared in a vicious hiss at the offending boom operator. I can honestly say that I have never been more turned on in my life, and I surreptitiously adjust myself to save my dwindling dignity.

 

I watch as he does his Jedi mind trick, commanding the camera crew to leave with a mere flourish of his hand. There must be something wrong with the thermostat, as the library just got unusually warm. They begin filing out of the room, and Nandor beckons to me from the chaise longue.

 

 **“Come closer Gee-ermo, for I wish to share my appetites with you. First, you will surrender your body, then your blood and finally your soul shall be mine! The library will bear witness as I deflower and corrupt you.”** I shiver with anticipation as I approach him, pulling my jumper off as I advance. My knees are weak as I stumble into his embrace.

 

**“Oh master, I love it when you talk dirty…”**


End file.
